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  • jlschackmann

How Do Expectations Affect Your Relationships?

I have recently put a lot of thought into expectations. And full disclosure this article is full of my opinions. I originally was told to think about the expectation that I have of my husband, write them down, and share them with said husband. Let’s just say I stopped listing them when I got to number 19 (poor guy, right!?!). I haven’t received his list yet… I think I might have broke his brain or spirit…

So then, I started wondering are my expectations too high or too specific (maybe I can lump some into categories)? And honestly I started to feel bad for my amazing husband. He is obviously able to carry a ton on his shoulders.

But is it possible to live without expectations? The only conclusion I can come up with is, no. If you think about it we even have expectation of people we don’t even know. Just passing a stranger on the street you expect common courtesy, they should move to the side to make room for you to pass. If they don’t do it we are disappointed by their rudeness. But if we didn’t have that expectation then we wouldn’t get pissed up when they bump our shoulder.

Heck we even have expectations of ourselves (some higher than others). We have expectations of everyone in our lives. Our BFF is expected to keep a secret or be by the phone when we call. Our children are expected to do their homework and keep their room clean. Our parents are expected to love and support us no matter what.

As of right now (send me your thoughts, provide me with your wisdom, and maybe my mind will change) I believe it’s not only O.K. to have expectations but that it’s healthy and good. I definitely want my young ladies to have expectations of their future suitors. However, it is only fair that those in your life, like your spouse or children, should know those expectations up front. I encourage us to be more open and honest with each other. Of course our expectation should be within reason or maybe use them in negotiation. I mean be flexible and willing to compromise.

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